Wednesday, March 02, 2005


I was just thinking about a book I gave to a girlfriend, and wondering if she still had it. If a relationship ends badly, do you keep the things the other person gave you? What about things that weren’t given to you, but just left behind? A friend just broke up with his girlfriend by putting all her belongings out in the hallway of their building. There’s always the stereotypical cleansing ritual where you do something symbolic like burn everything. I’ve never gone that far, but I threw a ring out my sixth story window once. I’ve tossed stuff in the trash, but to be honest, if it’s something cool, I’ll keep it. Getting rid of crap makes me feel better, but keeping stuff doesn’t make me feel bad. It’s sort of like confronting your fears. Or problems. Or reminders of what not to do in the future. Like, “that statue reminds me to never tell a girlfriend that a friend of hers is hot.” Something like that. So long as I, while giving her a gift, don’t wonder about where this gift will end up after we’re over, I’ll be okay. Or maybe I’ll say, “take this gift as a future reminder of what not to do in a relationship.” If she’s the woman who would understand completely, without further explanation, then somehow she’s the one for me.


Blogger Butterscotch said...

Before I drove across the country I did the whole burning thing. However, I chose only to burn those things that brought me down or made me feel bad. Anything else I had no problem keeping. Come to think of it... I think I own more of my ex boyfriends sweatshirts than I do my own:)

Uh, not that there were THAT many ex boyfriends. *cough*

4:35 PM  

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